Live Coaching Call October 30, 2018

1 hour, 5 minutes

How does the full moon affect your emotions? Carol answers this question, along with others about loneliness and feeling as though you don’t belong. You’ll benefit greatly from her guided visualization that helps you determine how much of an issue is generational and how much is yours.

When to Use

You Are Experiencing:

Uncertainty about how to work through your emotions

Shame over embarrassing gut issues & belly weight

Loneliness and feeling as though you don’t belong

Hurt when family members go dark after a fight

You Want To:

Know for sure how to shift into a better emotional place

Tune into your power center to retrain your “gut feeling”

Create a true sense of belonging that comes from within

Hold your own energy & create positive experiences

Affirmation for this Session:

I am creating peace within myself, which creates peace within my own reality.

For Repeat Visits:

Questions begin at 14:40

Session Transcript

Hello, welcome to this month’s live coaching call for the Carol Tuttle Healing Center. Welcome. I’m glad you’re here and I’m so thrilled that you’re a member of the healing center. It continues to amaze me to read your stories, your successes, your insights, your ahas as you move through, moving the soul energy, letting it come up, shifting it, releasing it, clearing it, and allowing a new energy to birth itself.

And we just came through, just a little side note. We had a pretty potent full moon on the 24th last Wednesday. And I’ve written about this in a healing tip that the moon will actually bring to the surface emotional energy. The moon is a yin energy. Emotion is yin. Emotion is a fluid sort of flowing experience within us. Then when we block emotion and stuff it and repress it, it gets sort of short up and banged up. It can come out very intensely or in very aggressive or abrupt or unexpected manner.

And when we’re allowing emotion, allowing it to be felt, to be acknowledged, to express it in healthy ways, we are claiming the natural process, what emotion is meant to be it, how it’s meant to be felt in our lives so that when there’s a full moon, we’re going to experience a heightened state of whatever is ready to shift and clear. You may have experienced that in the past week. And a heightened state of joy, a heightened state of wellbeing.

I know I’ve had moments where I’ve felt very fulfilled, a sense of peace and tranquility and fulfillment, a stabilization, that being centered in my own peacefulness, which I write about in, ”Mastering Affluence.” And I tell the story. I recently, I’ve had several book signings with author, lectures. So I’m gonna share a few thoughts that I’ve shared at those lectures before we get into the questions.

The thought I recently shared last week at a book signing was I’m a real fitness advocate and it’s very good for my mental health to do a regular fitness regimen. So it’s typical on everyday of the week that I’ve put in at least 30 to at least 60, sometimes even 90 minutes of fitness, which includes increasing my heart rate and increasing my oxygenation where I’m breathing harder. That breath really helps oxygenate my brain.

But I’ve realized recently, as I’ve attended a fitness center called Orange Theory because they put up on the screen your heart rate and they do it categorically by your age. And so you’re meant to increase your heart 40%, 50%, 60% during this workout and you get certain points. That’s why they…you’re meant to hit the orange and the red zone.

And I noticed that I would be really challenged to get to the orange zone and because my resting heart rate is so low for my age on a national average, my resting heart rate is in the mid to high fifties. And so to increase that, I only need to get it up around 130, 135 at most, 140 beats per minute. Based on their measurement, I need to get it up to least 160. I’m like, “Oh,” and so what I’ve noticed also is when I reach that higher level, I reset very quickly into my lower heart rate, my body, my heart’s healthy, and it knows how to go back into the lower rate very fast, which is a sign of a healthy heart.

Now, I use this as a metaphor and as a reference to or an…it should more be more an analogy of my emotional state. And that as I’ve allowed myself to feel some very uncomfortable feelings through the years as a means of allowing the expression of them and as I came to truly embrace that feeling is healing, that the emotional energy knows how to heal itself, when it’s allowed to be expressed.

And I had many, many periods of days or even days at a stretch where I was willing to feel some very deep, uncomfortable emotions. And I trusted the process to get me to a place of more emotional wholeness. Because of that and that being able to clean up that emotional baggage I’d carried, I have now this ability that if I do have something in the moment that’s upsetting to me, I’m able to reset to a place of peacefulness.

For example, my husband and I have certain pet peeves with each other. Let’s just talk about a couple of them in the kitchen. We have a knife holder in the drawer and I’m more apt to just kinda put the knives in more carelessly. It matters to him that they’re placed in the little slots according to the different sizes that those slots are designed for.

That’s sort of his pet peeve with me. And my pet peeve is, he’ll clean the kitchen and do everything but wipe the counters. And so all, you know, that’s my proposition, “Well, hey, I’ll work on the knives if you work on the kitchen counter piece. You know, let’s do this for each other. You really don’t care if the counters are wiped down. I don’t care if the knives are in their slot. But you care. I care. Let’s give each other that benefit.”

Well, I had been actively doing this with the knives and he hasn’t had to mention it recently for the last couple of months. Well, the counter thing has not been so consistent and once again, I went home and the kitchen was clean and I appreciated that and the counter was not wiped. So I brought, you know, I just had a lot to talk about this, bring this… This is still something that I feel that it’s not reciprocal.

And there was, I noticed a part of me, about age 15, that really was frustrated and angry that I wasn’t being heard by a male because that was my background. I have a predominantly male household, no sisters and more a very subdued, I almost said sedated. We can call my mother emotionally sedated in her time period. But that was my background.

So I checked into that because I noticed that coming forward and I’m very proactive now and going, okay, I’m getting really charged. I’m getting a little more aggressive than this scenario is necessary. Where is this coming from? And I tune into that 15-year-old and while I’m even in the conversation, I have this sort of ability to be co-conscious and I’m chatting with my 15-year-old saying, ”I get it. Nobody listened to you. The men in your life did not listen to you.

You were like, what? You were no big deal to them. You know, I, you’re right, I support you. And now let’s use good communication skills and I’m gonna choose that so we will be heard here, but I recognize your anger.” So I’m able to address that and embrace that. I saw myself bringing that teenage self into my arm saying, ”Let me take care of you. You don’t need to be a part of this. Let me take care of you.”

So my husband started saying to me, “It sounds like you can only be happy if I cleaned the kitchen counters.” I said, ”No, this has nothing to do with my personal wellbeing or happiness. My frustration truly is just about the counters.” And I was able to convey to him that I was experiencing frustration for the issue at hand and not all these years of pent up emotion. And I was able to maintain my composure.

We worked it out and I said, ”Just really, just answer this question. Is it correct for you to make more of an effort with wiping down the counters? All I wanna know is yes or no and we don’t even have to keep going over this.” And he said, ”Yes.” I said, ”All right, thanks. We’re done.”

And what I realized was I had this sort of fork in the road. I could have gone down that, “No one hears me,” and really ramped it up or I could take care of that part of me, reset, again, that reset into being more stable, more conscious, more. “This is really just about frustration with the counters. This is really not about, ‘Men don’t hear me.'” And I was able to navigate into that path and then take myself down that path which took us down that path which allowed us to get to closure on it very, very quickly.

And so with the heart rate reference, when I’m pulled out emotionally because I’ve done so much emotional healing work and practiced being aware of my emotional state and taking accountability, I’m able to reset quite quickly. I was able to go from frustration to, “I’m fine,” and I was. There was no pretending or putting on a good face and still harboring all this stuff. I can shift very quickly.

Now, some of you may have to go through more of a wave through with your emotion and write it out. It may take you longer and your energy type may have a variable in that. Type ones and type three’s are going to be able to kind of shift on a dime. You know, type ones just switch directions. Type threes make a quick shift. Type twos, you’ll have that way.

My husband will require more processing time. And he’s aware of that and he doesn’t need to involve me in that. So I’m good about keeping in my emotional state of awareness. He goes through more of a wave. A type four, once you go deep and connect with it, it just takes you some introspection to choose to come forward again.

It’s like you’ve turned within so deeply, now you have to choose to kind of, you know, you’ve submerged the submarine to access that, to feel it, to contemplate to be in that deep thinking, deep feeling state. You need to give yourself some guidelines on coming back to the surface and putting your attention outward again and make that a conscious choice. So type twos, ride the wave out, kind of see yourself on that raft and that goes into a calm pool. Type four, that submarine, deep. It’d be healthy to choose to come up and focus outward. Couple of little tips for you there.

So let’s get into our questions. Well, I wanna read a success story real quick. Let me know if that was helpful to you, that information. How was that supportive? And if you’ve got a question for the live Q&A, go ahead and post that because Christine’s on the call tonight and we’ll be gathering those that she feels are the most broadly applicable to the group. And that’s how we do choose the questions so that we can get a broad reference to support the greatest number of people.

Wendy shared, “I have been really taken by the idea that upsets our setups.” And I write about this in my book, “Mastering affluence,” and I give credit to where I learned that which was Michael Brown’s work. And that was really fascinating. That was a real mind turner for me to go, “This has set me up, so I’ll feel this because what I’m feeling really isn’t even about now. It’s about something I’ve never expressed and accounted for to be healed.”

And the setup is the reference I use, upsets your setups for opportunities in healing and awareness. My work in the Healing Center and with the book, ”Mastering affluence,” has been really consistent lately. And I am noticing that suddenly, there are so many of these opportunities flying my way. Yeah, you’re like, “Cool. Cool. There’s another one, there’s another setup. Lucky me.”

“As this first started happening, I tried to tap and meditate and use affirmations and sketch my way around the uncomfortable feelings. It didn’t feel genuine and I sort of felt better, but not really. But I wasn’t sure how to go deeper with it. I then suddenly became aware that I’ve been finding ways completely to skip the journaling.

I’d either totally forget about it or find some excuse for myself as why it couldn’t be done today. When I stopped avoiding journaling and finally just made a decision to put pen to paper every day, wow, there they are, all those feelings, finding a voice and reflecting right back to my eyes from the paper, all the feelings that really are there and won’t be denied.

Scary and vulnerable, but then I look at them, acknowledge them and thank them for being there. And they are not so scary and I am stronger and more at peace than I realized even in the presence of raw emotion. They are part of me. They flow through me. They are not all of me.

I’m also noticing in my daily meditation of 10 silent and still minutes that they are beginning to appear amongst the thoughts that pop up. I can just observe them like the thoughts and I don’t have to go chasing them down or getting all overly involved in them. Without them, I would feel like a black and white photo with no color.”

That’s lovely. Thank you, Wendy, for letting me share that. I love that reference. I do actually teach, in my first book that’s out of print, ”The Path to Wholeness.” I have a little section in there called, “Feelings are like colors.” There’s an array of them and we’re meant to experience all of them in their beauty. Thank you for that example. Let’s get into our questions and if you’ve got a question, go ahead and submit it in a comment so that might be selected for the live Q&A.

“Twenty five years ago I had a complete breakdown and my daughter, now 35 years old, became my mother when she was only 10 years old. During this time, my mother, she has passed off, told her off to me and her and was generally mean to her. And I should have stood up for my daughter by responding, correcting the things my mother had said.

Due to my own wounding, I gave my mom too much power and I didn’t have the emotional strength to stand up for her at the time. Since my time in the Healing Center, I felt the need to write to my daughter, most importantly about the responsibility she took on and I feel still carries to some degree. We have a great relationship, but this energetic field needs to be addressed. Is writing the best place to start even though I haven’t completed all my own healing?”

Well, of course that’s a part of your healing, I think. I like your reference to the energetic field needs to be addressed, accounted for. So rather than her carrying it in her body and system to account for it, taking ownership of it, that’s why communication is such a vital part of our healthy relationships.

I’ll tell my husband, “Let’s put, you know, put words to what you’re feeling, please,” because then it’s accounted for and I don’t have to be tempted to feel it because I did a lot of that as a kid. I counted for a lot of people, stuff that wasn’t mine. That’s why I have you give it back to people so they can account for their own energetic creation.

Now, the opportunity present, if you have a close relationship with her, you might even consider just having a brief visit about it. That would be very bonding and that’s very vulnerable to present this and to let her know why that you just wanna own this and account for it and you wanna apologize. That might, I don’t know, you know, what type are you two, what would be the most honoring of who you are, what your true nature is. So yeah, either in writing, somehow it’s like you don’t want to make a bigger deal of it than it is and you don’t necessarily need to bury your soul. You basically just wanna acknowledge it and own it and account for it. And then just see if there’s anything she has to say about it. So keep it simple. She doesn’t need to be brought into your healing experience that way.

”I would love feedback on the connection between carrying weight in the midsection, gut health, and trusting one’s own gut intuition. I’ve experienced Candida, poor gut health. My protruding, overweight, lumpy belly is something I’m very self-conscious about while growing up. I was taught to not trust myself, but just follow the instruction of my domineering mother. While doing the physical athletes’ clearing scripts today, I came to the realization that there is a connection.” Becoming your own spiritual authority that I teach in ”Mastering Affluence” can be a big piece for you and the clearings for that that are included in the book and in the Healing Center because they’ve been produced in the videos is become your own authority from that place of your center. And so I would add that piece and as far as it expressing in your got your lumpy belly, the physical reference, that could be a protective barrier for you. That’s your as far as your energy chakra system, your second and third chakra are in the belly gut area. And that’s your second chakra, is your creative space, your sexuality or femininity, your right to your own feminine expression. I’m assuming this is a woman, might be a male, whether it’s male or female, your gender expression of self. And then your power center, your third chakra rests in this area, down below the sternum here. And so that totally connects with you weren’t taught to have your own source of power.

So all I can tell you about, I used to have. I’m talking about chakras and let’s just say there’s some forthcoming things in my world. It won’t be this year. But I got a fabulous online course called Chakras Seven and I’m aware of an opportunity to bring a lot of that information to the forefront. Again, that’s all you need to know. Anyway, those energy centers are being activated with the work you’re doing. I continue to work on the emotional themes and clearing and go do the spiritual and the childhood wounding would be very advantageous. Your, I think, three to six years old is the stage four, which is your right to your own power and using your power in the world, so that would be supportive as well.

”My mum will be 87 this week. She has come from a highly dysfunctional life. Brought the fear, resentment and anger, bitterness, lack of control with her. She passed to me verbally and emotionally her abuse. Dad was calm. Dad’s passed away.” So the question really revolves around this daughter is still very beautiful and very much playing a care taker role to her elderly parents. And that she’d feel very, she’d be betraying her mother and her mother would be devastated if she knew how she really felt because she believes she did the best she could. ”I’m 61 years of age. I feel like a caged animal that never knew which way to go. I’m wondering specifically what I can do to lessen my anxiety. I have done anxiety and fear plan, self-confidence plan, and fourth week of the childhood wounding. And on the fourth week.”

Something you’re kind of giving your mother too much credit for now at 87 is being mentally sound with a healthy brain. When you study Dr. Amen, Daniel Amen’s work, one of the things I learned from him that helped me navigate my elderly father’s mental health dysfunction, the brain health is a fit. Some older people get grumpy and more narcissistic if they’re not taking care of their brains. We’ve got conditions like dementia, Alzheimer’s, those are extreme states of brain disease and mental health conditions. Consider the possibility that your mother at 87 has a personified level of her attributes now that they’re extreme.

Now, once I learned that my father’s always had the tenet, you know, for my entire life, I’ve known him to be narcissistic and have some OCD and in and real major brain health issues. They got very, very pronounced in his elderly years and they were attempted to be treated. Yeah, they were just…it was a mess. Let’s just say that information helped me navigate this world to say, you know, he can’t change really. Unless he’s motivated to change this, which he’s not. And so I have to make decisions now based on my wellbeing first, not the old role of catering to him. And so until you put yourself first and choose what’s correct for me, because we realized all my siblings and I realized it won’t matter what we do he’s gonna be the same no matter what. It doesn’t make a difference, you know, because we attempted, we played our roles. Everybody had, we cycled through, you know, everybody we were like a revolving door. Everyone got their turn. Mine was much earlier than my brothers. I got to do it with him years ago and kind of reset my experience with him. They all got that chance and everybody came out in the same place and said, ”It doesn’t matter what we do, let’s think of ourselves first and will then support that experience from our place of self-care and wellbeing will respond from there. And so you’re still putting your mother first and as long as you do that, you’ll feel like a caged animal because you’re still conforming to your mother. And so those are things you have to navigate as parents, progress elder into their elder years. But one thing I did learn from Dr. Amen’s book ”Change Your Brain, Change Your Life” was that, this condition develops in elderly people, that’s just this more grumpy narcissist, you know, grumpy old men. People get grumpier because their brain, certain brain functions are deteriorating. So keep your brain’s healthy. Get off sugar.

”I have a tremendous yearning for the feelings of belonging, but experience very little of it except with animals and in nature. The need has felt very strong during the abuse plan. And I see how I create this pattern over and over in my life, feeling outside and unwelcome. I don’t really know the source, but it feels very old. These emotional patterns have had some very negative consequences in my life. I have just recently had the thought that it might be generational. It is hard not seeing the course, but for me, the possibility of it being generational it gives me relief. Also, I don’t feel so much self blame. Any thoughts and clearing and healing or appreciated.” Actually this prompted a… Thank you for that question. We’re gonna do an exercise tonight. I’m gonna make a note of this because I actually had this thought and you just reminded me. I was like, what was that healing exercise I wanted to do tonight? You just reminded me.

So we’ll take care of some stuff there in response to your question. Again, when something presents itself, that sense of as you describe it, that you don’t…a lack of feeling like you belong. So again, you wanna craft your own affirmation script. What if you felt like you belonged, how would you know? What would be the emotional state of that? How would you feel? If you’re honestly able to say, wow, that’s really changed. I really feel it. I remember when I felt like I didn’t belong. Now I do because that’s an internal state. If you think that looks like something outside of you, there will be references in your reality that will mirror back to you that you believe you belong. There’s certainly going to be a manifestation of that. But if you’re looking outside into your outer world first to create certain scenarios so it gives you a feeling of belonging, that’s a backwards approach. When do you have to activate your own being to connect with your sense of belonging and wholeness to self and your world so that you now materialize the physical evidence that that is truth for you? How would you know? So I will know because now if you start that response with I will no longer. I will stop. You’re still referencing what you don’t want. I will know because I will be. I am now. I am feeling. Script this for yourself. Create the script. What age is hanging out in the, “I don’t pull on energy?” What age comes to mind? I’m getting somewhere around three years old. There’s like a three year old you that’s saying, I’m kinda just gonna stick in that I don’t belong energy field. I’m going to hang out there. That’s my home. And you’re gonna keep as many times as it shows up, go to that three year old and say, ”Hi, honey, you belong to me. I’m here right here.” And she may go, ”No, I wanna stay in the, I don’t belong da-da-da-da-da.” Keeps showing up. “Hi, I’m right here reaching out to your hand. Let’s go. You belong to me. You belong. You’re very important. Let’s go. I’m gonna hug you and hold you. You belong. At some point, that part’s gonna plug in. But there’s one age that’s hanging out in the, “I don’t belong. You just keep going and finding out.”

You know, it’s like my teenage self in this past week, “Men, don’t listen to me. And I’m like, “I know, I don’t get down.” I’m like, “Blah,” like, “When are you getting it over that?” you know? I’m now the shaming adult to those. Part of me I’m like, “I know. I know I was your experience. I get it. All right. Come on, let me handle this one. You’re not married to this guy, are you? You’re 15. You’re free. Go do your thing.”

All right. I have an, “Afraid I’ll lose everything” issue concerning my art practice. Want to make change or you turn maybe from large scale community art projects to creating objects and making plenty of money with it, but I am afraid to even post my existing ideas on a Facebook page. I have a nice amount of recognition, won art prizes, art prizes and I think organizations know how to find me over here in the Netherlands. It’s you do this one thing or people won’t take you seriously anymore. You’ll lose it all. Hurt all over and over again at art school too, and I love change big time. I am most afraid of losing the recognition I have now and yes, not being taken seriously anymore or losing all, I successfully built up through the years. I have not been able to move past the shit [SP]. I’m even afraid to hit the enter button right now in case this post actually will turn up on my business page.”

My sense is there’s a generational story now here. Which ancestor, which story’s never been accounted for, where somebody lost everything and they weren’t taken seriously. Maybe their reputation, you know, was trashed or they were ashamed or something bottomed down ’em. But where is it in your family history that this, and even if you don’t now, the little exercise we’re gonna do tonight will help you let go of what’s not yours and a shift there, so you can take your piece of it instead of carrying the whole generational piece at… Moss [SP] did stories like this, art rooted in some generational story that just keeps recycling through the next generation that is carried actually in your root chakra. So you wanna clean that up, own it, clean that. If you don’t know it. Then just clear it as though it were. Take your script right here. You just wrote it. Tap on that. There it is, and include it. And I’m releasing this for all generations, all levels, all layers, all backwards, forwards as far back as it goes. I am now claiming this energy and changing it. Now that’s the phrasing you would use for that.

”My mother was visiting recently and started some drama over our different political beliefs. She got upset mostly because I wouldn’t engage in the argument and left a day early. And now isn’t speaking to me.” Well, maybe that’s good. Maybe you’re like, “Hey, I get a break.” I mean, it could be okay. I mean, we always see this as this negative thing. Like they’re punishing me. I’m like, well, okay, nice little break here. ”This is a pattern for her and I believe it’s generational. I want to give her space and all our stuff to be her stuff, but I’m also worried about us not being connected when I know our time together on earth is limited. She was raised with religion and during my childhood turned away from it bitterly. Then I observed her becoming increasingly involuntary chosen political party. And we’re all seeing her judging the world, including me through the political lens and deeming myself and others right or wrong, worthy or not worthy, based on our alignment or not with this political rhetoric. First, she gave it to the church she was raised with. Now she’s given this political party, her faith and devotion and the authority to dictate what is correct for everyone.

She seems to feel called to fight for this perceived truth at all costs. It seems a dangerous and destructive path to me and I would like to help her out of the patter [SP], but I also know that my involvement can be damaging to me, or is it better for me to allow her to have her path and just keep myself and family safe from the effects.” Is she asking, is she motivated? Is she wanting this? You don’t like it? So why would you try and enroll her in that big job? Major job? You can shift things to the point where she will play more off your script than hers and respect your boundaries. I saw this happen with my father. I may have mentioned this. Both my mom and dad became more docile, more agreeable, more pleasant around me. They would play. My mum’s never been aggressive. In fact, for any of you, as a little side note, my mother’s still lingering. She’s on hospice and true to her type two nature, she is gently living out in the last few days or weeks of her life. And you may have seen a post on social media that I’d gone to visit her, which I felt at the time was the last time I’d see her physically in person. Now that she’s peaceful and she’s pain-free, which is great, I’m grateful for that for her wellbeing.

And back to this, the more you focus on your own healing, the more you hold space for people to play in your energy field, your new energy field, more appropriately where you would be able to say, ”Mum, it’s just not supportive to our relationship. What I care more about is that relationship. Could you, please…are you in, you know, please no longer share that with me. Would you be able to do that?” Give her a choice? Would you be able to do that? But give it a little more time for you to get to a place of really being the one that holds the space. See what happens is when we’re parents will get triggered and our energy will turn into the wounded child or the childhood energy will just all sudden morph into our childhood role and where’s the point of power now with the parent? As you continue to emotionally grow yourself up, take ownership of self in your life and the reality you’re creating, you have the point of power that she has to play in the space up. And that’s you’re all, you know, and you’ll feel kinda, you’ll have both a foot in both worlds. You’ll go back to the old, I’m in my childhood energy again. Oh, I’m holding my arm and it’s just a maturity of your own higher vibration being able to really stick. And so once you get there, you’ll find your parents play to your new script more fully and you can have appropriate boundaries and conversation so, and they honor ’em. I was able to do that with my own parents very, very successfully. It just took my getting there so that would happen.

”I’m working on a weight loss plan and I’m feeling very angry at myself for allowing the extra weight, lack of exercise, lack of motivation, and minor health problems as a result. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve done the stuck clearings in the childhood wounding plan. I don’t feel like I’m holding on to anger towards anyone but myself and I don’t know why I can’t seem to let it go. I’m a T1 [SP].” That’s just part of your process of healing. Keep processing the anger and use the feeling angry because open-ended sentence to see what else is there. What else was there when I was doing private session work with people that I would use tapping and rapid eye therapy and I would just keep provoking what’s deeper, what’s beneath that? And typically anger is a secondary emotion. What’s underneath anger is sadness. Anger presents as you look through your childhood progression, you’re going to feel sadness, disappointment in your early childhood years, which then you’re recognizing that you were sad, let down, disappointed, my parents didn’t show up as you would have liked them to, by your early teen to teen years anger sets in. So what’s underneath the anger? You can even, what’s underneath my anger is, what’s underneath my anger is? Find out what that could be, a protective shield to deeper sorrow and sadness.

”I was adopted by my parents at age three months. My adoptive parents were the best and giving a lot of loss and grief. It started when my mother, who was diagnosed and placed in an Alzheimer’s facility. Her diagnosis resulted in my parents having to sell their home and parents were forced to live in separate places. My dad died a year after this separation from my mum. Well, my mum is in this facility, I was seeing her weekly. For the last three months, I reduced my visits to monthly. So now I can’t take the visits any longer. I was becoming sick and crying daily. On top of that, my extended family, only one brother and sister are now estranged to me. I did not help with the moving as they wanted me to. So for one year now, I’ve had no contact with them or their children, which has crushed me. I have finally resolved to the fact that this is how it will be and I’m working on moving on. However, during the holidays I am worried I will fall into sadness again. How can I prevent further pain for my situation? I know [inaudible 00:37:05] stories which will prevent me from living my life.”

You gotta be willing to fall into the sadness. It’s okay. It’s like that’s a part of that healing process. What’s coming up? This is a setup. Things are all your whole reality is being set up to support you coming to a place of wholeness and wellness and you know, affluence of who you are, full realization of your truth. And so trust that this story is being written perfectly to support you. And the curing and care of the detail and everybody playing their roles so profoundly out for you. You know, and what is it bringing up for you? And you get to a place that’s very remarkable that you feel as if, you feel intact and whole as a human being and you’re not dependent on outside circumstances to create that. But you’re able to receive the blessing and benefit of that, those relationships as a blessing in your life, but not a dependency for your state of wellbeing. They’re just like, they’re, you know, I’ve gone through a lot of estrangement.

Yeah. I was estranged from my family for all close to five years. I didn’t know if I’d ever speak to them again. I’ve had challenges with certain children. Right now I’m going on four and half years that I’ve not seen by choice my adopted son due to some boundaries we set in place. I’ve been willing to let go of their relationships to allow healing in my life and support and really envision healing in others’ lives so that if it’s correct, that time will come, we’ll come back together. And I’ve allowed myself to feel anything that, that brings up and that my state of wellbeing is dependent on those relationships being intact. I don’t want that. I want to feel my state of centered wellbeing as a result of my own inner connection. And those relationships are a blessing and addition, you know. They’re pleasurable, they are enjoyment in my life, but they do not determine how I feel and who I am internally.

You know, I had to do this on my own, figuring it out. I’m grateful I’ve got the Healing Center to support you in that. So you don’t have to, you know, go find the stuff. You can get there a lot faster. I like to say, I hope you make healing easy because it can be now. All right, so let’s take some live questions real quick. It’s 7:40. We’re probably gonna go with the visualization and some more questions about 7:55, probably 10, 15 more minutes in that range and then we’ll wrap it up.

‘Okay. Here we go. “How to get over why? Why do people not hear me? Why do people not listen to me or why do people not respect me? What is the best way to get over this? This is a huge issue for me.” Well, because you believe they don’t. That’s an easy question to answer why. Because you have a belief that people don’t. Here’s the ask yourself the question, why do people not hear me well? Because I believe they don’t hear me. Why do people not respect me? Because I believe I don’t deserve respect. That’s an easy answer. The why is it’s inside, now. That’s the script you handed on the scrip and they’re playing off it. You’re like, I have a belief that, um, I’m not deserving of your respect here. Will you please take that script and, and, and mirror that back to me? Sure. I love you so much. I will be happy to do that for you. I will treat you with disrespect. You know, I have a belief that I am not heard. Will you please show me that here? Take my script. That’s why. Change it and change.

”I feel like I get pulled out of my energy really easy when my kids get frustrated easily. I often don’t have the space or freedom to go do a clearing right at that moment. What can I practice in the moment to help bring me back and to lighten things up again and back to calm energy?” This is something I did. If I had something set me up to get triggered and emotionally charged and I was not in a space that I could actually work with it, I put it on the shelf and I’d asked my angels to now prompt me, motivate me, move me to follow up within the 24 hours of it presenting itself to me. Okay. And do you schedule time? Have you worked into your schedule healing time? Like let’s just say seeing me was something you were doing in my office. You could completely treat this like live sessions with me in a physical space and say I have an appointment with Carol at 3:00 pm, you know, or at10:00 am on Thursday and I’m gonna go show up at that appointment. So maybe you need to trick your mind and treat this like going to an appointment and put it in your schedule so you’re proactive rather than reactive to what’s showing up.

”I’m really low. How do I bring myself up? I feel very lethargic and bogged down this last couple of weeks especially. Any help would be appreciated.” Are you getting out and getting some aerobics? Are you walking? Are you moving yourself? Get up. I tell myself when I was in this kind of funk, I’ll do this thing where I wake up in the morning, get up, get up, wake up, get up, show up, wake up, get up, show up, move my body. And so getting your body moving, what’s your diet like right now? Carb low? You know, if you have a heavy low carb, we tend to eat a lot of carbs when we’re feeling lethargic and high sugar foods. A really good practice to eliminate the sugar count, look at a label and look at the sugars. Anything in the double digits should be avoided if you want to bring your sugar content now. And so if it’s 10 and up, don’t eat it, single digit sugar grams. And that’s a really easy way to implement decreasing the sugar because that’s fogging… Sugar will bog down and fog your brain. I’ve been off white sugar for two and a half years. And now that my body’s cleansed from it, if I eat even a small portion, I notice the effect on my brain immediately. That’s why, you know I still make. If you follow me on Instagram stories, you’ll see the way I cook and the way I bake, I use a product called Lakanto. We can actually get a…put a link in the Facebook group here. I have an affiliate with them. It gives us a little kickback for promoting their product kit. Say natural plant sweetener, it’s one to one sugar replacement and zero sugars, zero. No effect on your brain, no spike in your blood sugar, so watch what you’re eating. You’ll be having this…it’s funny, when you’re doing clearing work, you’ll have this tendency to wanna consume sugar because I think you’re looking for a quick source of energy. And again, water and healthy high fats, go eat an avocado, you know, or get a grain free granola or something which they have plenty of.

”How do we address our need for rest and alone time? As a child I was given too much responsibility. I felt like I had to take care of everyone. In my current life, I take care of a lot of people. I kind of want to check out of my roles of caregiver and give myself a break.” Well, I think you answered your own question. Why don’t you give up half of those? Which ones would you let go of? You answered your own question that you’re ready to do that. Choose to do it. What does that bring up for you? Clear that.

”I have connected to a part of me that is a bit hesitant to really improve and have a big life as if I won’t be able to handle it. I would appreciate your thoughts on what direction you’re gonna shoot this.” I’m not sure what you mean by big life. Quite honestly, life is full of a lot of mundane routines. We pretty much drive the same roads every day, go to the same spaces most times. You know, we do a lot of repetition in our day to day life then. And so maybe there’s this idea of this big life that is a little too inflated that would cause you to be resistant and maybe you change the perception you’re holding to just say my next experience rather than the big life. You know, it’s like, I don’t know if you say I have a big life because I have a lot of exposure to people and a lot of people that follow me and that. But honestly I wake up, workout, I drive to the office, you know, it’s pretty routine. And I realized that and I’m like, you know, you got to embrace the mundane. I wanna make the mundane special cause it’s a lot of repetition, a lot of just repeated actions, repeated experiences and let’s make that special and wonderful. And there’s nothing to be resistant to.

Okay. She said that this particular question came in, in several forms, so we put it into this one. Why am I creating the experience of avoiding the healing that is available to me as a member of the Healing Center? How can I move past whatever is blocking me? It’s habit and it’s just again, go do that stuck clearing at the Masterclass. We have links here on the Facebook page. Do stuck clearing? And again, a lot of it is just discipline and willing to show up, schedule it and show up, schedule it and show up. You know, I didn’t feel like doing a lot of stuff. And ask yourself, do things need to get worse to provoke me to do this? Is that what I really want? Because what’s gonna move me to take action? Well, maybe things getting more painful, uncomfortable upsets to set you up. And so as you choose to be proactive, the manager with more discretion and more commitment and say, I’m going to just… Okay, one thing I do at the end of each morning shower, I turn it to the coldest setting I can. Now I’ve made this such a habit. Yeah, all my body’s not going, yay, I can’t wait for that. I mean, I’m like, oh, I’m resistant to it. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s so healthy for you, you know, to get that temperature shift and the cold water on your skin. And now I’ve gotten to the point that it’s a habit. I just take my… I just notice all that and I take the knob and I turn it and I just do it. See, say these are practices, I’ve instilled them in myself over years of choosing to do what I’m resistant to. I do not want fear and resistance to dictate my choices.

In fact, real quick story, I went up for the first time to skydive. I freaked out. I wouldn’t jump out of the plane and I’m like strapped to an instructor. But the whole thing of hanging out the door first and like, oh, I said I can’t do it. I’m not doing this. Well, within the year I went back and did it again because I recognized that that was a fear that provoked that decision and I was very uncomfortable with that. I’m like, you know, that’s not what I want. I want to have a creation-based choice process. I teach this in ”Mastering Affluence” prevention thinking versus creation thinking. I went, I was trying to prevent something that would never occur or most likely happen because they wouldn’t let you skydive if everybody was dying. My fears were unreasonable.

So I signed up. I told a different instructor, said, you know what, ”I’m gonna be hesitant every step of the way. So no matter what, I want you to just move me through the next step, the next step. I’m very hesitant to do this and very resistant and just keep moving me forward.” And he was very encouraging. He kept supporting me and we did it. I jumped and we safely came to the ground and he said, ”So how did you like that, you know, to change your mind?” I said, ”No, but I’m really glad I did it.” I wanna do it another time, you know, when I’m not like…just so if I see it and go to the next place of pleasure. You need to be, you know, if I showed up at your house or if you were paying me a lot more money, you’d probably show up. And so schedule this in your schedule. Follow through, sit down. When I write books, I’m not, “Yay. I can’t wait to go write my book.” I love sitting there and it demands a lot of me. It’s not something I look forward to necessarily yet. I know I need to show up and do it and I do because I schedule the time and I just follow through. It’s discipline. Really create those habits.

All right, so I wanna read to you, in closing, this is my first book. It’s out of print. It was published in 1993. ”The Path to Wholeness, a Personal Approach to Spiritual Healing and Impairment for Individuals Recovering from Sexual and Spiritual Abuse.” Yeah. I thought that was pretty good idea in 1993 to be the first one ever in my particular religious culture to write a book about healing from sexual abuse, which had never been done. I’m a first waiver on many levels. There is a quoting here from Portia Nelson called “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters.” I love this. I think it speaks just volumes for our experience. Okay. I love this. I’m gonna read it to you.

”Chapter one. I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in here.” I can put that up on the screen for you to see. I’ll start over, chapter one. ”I walk down the street, there’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I’m lost. I am hopeless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out”. Chapter two, ”I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I’ve fallen again. I can’t believe I am in the same place, but it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.” Chapter three, ”I walk down the same street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it as there. I still fall in. It’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.” Chapter four, ”I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.” Chapter five, ”I walk down another street.”

Isn’t that the best? I love that because I think it really, really in such a short, concise piece, really, really journals the progression we go through from I’m in the hole, it’s your fault. I’m in the hole again still your fault. I see it, but I’m still there. You know? Then you’re like, oh, I thought I did it again. It is my fault. Okay, I’m gonna walk around it now. Oh, there’s a whole another street. I’m gonna create a whole different reality so it looks completely different. I’m gonna shift from being in the vibration of powerlessness and victim energy to the field of consciousness of awareness and affluence. All right. The world isn’t choosing that, I am. So okay. See everybody in the world, the what appears to be. See the modern day media is not a healthy representation of a lot of literally millions of peoples’ mindful, more aware states of being and incivility and more conscious, kindhearted, humanity. It doesn’t represent that.

And so you gotta really, really not let that be the lens in which you see the world through. And know that there’s a lot of good people on this planet. Travel, get out there, meet people in other countries and feel the peace and goodness that’s all over the place.
But, you know, you can let people…don’t worry about it. If your parents want to keep landing in the hole, let ’em. You don’t have to save your parents. They may not have chosen that in their life path. My parents didn’t choose that. They didn’t choose to wake up and shift their consciousness. You know, know people will ask me, have you talked to your mom about the fact that she’s on hospice? I’m like, my mom doesn’t have those conscious conversations. You don’t talk about, you know, that you’re gonna die soon, mom. She knows but you don’t have that meaningful await conversation. That’s not her level of awareness. She’s chosen to live in a lot of denial though she’s a lovely, amazing, sweet human being, that’s one of the kindest, most generous people I know. She didn’t choose to be that level of awareness on her own state of being. That’s okay. It’s good. It’s perfect for her.

All right, we’re gonna do a little exercise here. It’s a visualization. The goal in this is to get in tune with what percentage… Think of an issue in your life. The one that came to me that I was prompted to doing this exercise you might remember was the question that I referred to earlier about the fact that it’s a generational issue. And I said we’ll address that in a little bit. It might’ve been the one with losing everything that… I don’t know. I can’t remember which one it was. So the goal of this is to… We’re gonna get a number presented to you and that number’s gonna represent what percent of this issue that you’re now immersed in healing. Oh, okay. Christine. Thank you. Let’s see. Let me read it.

”I have a tremendous yearning for the feeling of belonging, but experienced very little. I actually feel this is generational. It’s hard not seeing the cause but for me…” Okay? So that was the question that there was this feeling of not belonging and connecting. And this is going to support you in seeing what percent of the issue that’s presenting itself in your experience of healing at this time is generational and what percent is yours? Okay? And you’re going to have a number revealed to you. And so set that intention that you’ll be shown the, what percent is generational, okay? And what percent is really yours to account for? So just close your eyes and take a deep breath and ground yourself by putting your feet on the floor and across your arms. If you’re moving around, it’s best to do this still and sitting down so you can focus inwardly. Take a deep breath and notice your breathing and exhale. Turn your attention inward and imagine you’re standing in the light with your spiritual support team. Imagine as it is best relative to your spiritual beliefs, whether that’s God, Christ, ancient beings, your soul, your higher self, whatever is that point of reference to your spiritual guidance and support team. Imagine that there with you angels, whatever is presenting itself that’s really aligned with your spiritual beliefs and even your religious beliefs. And allow yourself to see yourself in the light with that presence.

Take a deep breath and breathe in the light. And you’re carrying this issue and you’ve been carrying it in your experience, in your life story, in this issue, maybe rooted in a generational past and you’re ready to now heal it and it’s showing up and something you’ve been working on and you’re wanting to be free of. And so you ask your spiritual guide what percent is generational? And they’re holding a card. You know when they do like the old fashioned like ratings and they’d be like, they’d hold a number up. It’s a 10. It’s a seven. Well, they’re gonna flash a card in front of you and it’s going to have a certain number on it and it can be very high. We’re looking at up to 100%. Is this issue a hundred percent generational? Is it 50%? Is it 70? Is it 20? What number did they show you? That’s the percentage of energy. That is really the force of creation of this issue where it comes from. And so as you deduct that from 100%, that number, you subtract that percentage you were just shown from that 100%, you’re gonna be given your percent. What was that number?

Now, in most cases the generational number’s quite high. I mean even to a surprising high that you’re like, wow, really? It’s that much that you would most cases carry the lesser amount. That much smaller percent is yours, and then you realize, why am I carrying this around? I’m gonna just count for my piece. So imagine a pie chart and color in one color to represent the generational. I mean, imagine a pie that you would even serve up and you take your piece out and you take in, you’re gonna own this piece of the pie and you’re gonna hand the rest of the pie over to your spiritual support. They can burn it up. They can change it in the light. They’re gonna just take care of it because it’s not yours. But hand them the pie and they consume it in some way that it’s no, it’s alchemized. It’s changed. The energy’s changed and they’ve accounted for it. And you can even see your ancestors. They’re all cheering you on and on. By the time you let go of that, good for you because we didn’t have a choice. It’s all we can experience because we just lived in a different paradigm where there weren’t as many options. You take your piece of pie and you go, I am ready and able to now heal this percent of mine. It is easy and I’m doing it quickly.

And imagine that transforming into something beautiful in the energy changing to represent. You’re changing the energy. You can grow into a bouquet of flowers and grow into more money, you can grow to lots of hearts, emojis, whatever shows up, and just take that new energy that you’ve transformed into a more positive vibration and place it in your heart. Take a deep breath in, thank your guides, your support. Thank God. Thank divinity. Think all that’s been there to help you, your ancestors, and bring your attention back to your body and when you’re ready, comfortably open your eyes.

So I’d love to see what some of your percentages were. Throw up in a comment real quick what percentages did you see that was generational? And in the meantime someone’s asking me if the ”Path to Wholeness” is available on kindle. It is not. It’s very… It’s out of print. You can get it used. Let’s see. Any one sharing a comment, what percentage? Let’s just see if I’m getting any up here on the feed. Someone’s saying, please, please make the autobiography into a graphic we can save. I love it and it needs to be taped to my mirror. Well, you can just look it up. Just Google “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters,” Portia Nelson and you can print it out yourself. They’ve got plenty of them there. I will let you do that yourself. You don’t need me to help you at that.

Okay. I don’t know. Christine, if you can shoot me some of the… The feed isn’t loading correctly so I’m gonna wrap things up and know that what you saw was…and if you got a number, the percent for generational, really, really was meant to be of the higher number. Okay? So keep giving back what’s not yours and take the piece. It’s yours that you’re meant to heal because in that you affect the whole by healing your piece.

Thanks everyone for being a part of tonight’s coaching call. Thank you for being a member of the Healing Center. I trust that there’ll be someone in your life that’s looking for support and healing that’s very affordable and that can be done in the privacy of their own home. Thank you for sharing this resource with those people that present themselves in your life and they trust you. And they enroll themselves because as we continue to share this work, we affect more lives for the good and that affects the planet at large. The greatest thing you can do to create a peaceful planet is to create peace within yourself and to create a peaceful existence in your own reality. Because that just has more power than you would ever know to affect the whole experience on this planet.

Thanks again for sharing the work of the Healing Center. Send people to this Step Quiz. Just go to and invite them to take the Step Quiz and they’ll get to have an experience with the kind of work that I do. Thanks again everyone. We’ll talk to you. It’s a great time. We’re going into the holidays at the time of this coaching call and that’s great because holidays really bring a lot of setups in the holidays. That’s good. We’re going in with eyes wide open and lots of tools to support creating a very healing and a very joyous holiday experience. And I am here along with my support team to keep you going. Thanks.

Glossary: Energy Healing Terms & Meanings

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